Having faith in the midst of uncertain times

my boyfriend and i do not fight a lot. although, we are both extremely stubborn and when we have extreme opposing views it can bring a little bit of tension and distance. overall though our relationship is full of peace, joy, & adventure. i love him with all my heart. some other of our similar flaws are that we both tend to be anxious over-thinkers, think people are always against us, and feel the want/need to be right. we both want to feel heard, understood and respected. our most recent fight was regarding the coronavirus & travel. Now let me give you some more self-disclosure/background about ryan & i. Ryan is a more logical thinker, whereas I am an emotional-thinker. This takes a lot of effort to try and understand each others thoughts and this is where it becomes our defense mechanism to fight for understanding of our thoughts/feelings because we don’t naturally think/feel the same. I love that he is a logical thinker. Anyway, back to our argument. We are supposed to leave for Savannah on Sunday and Ryan wants to postpone our trip. This is heartbreaking news to me because not only was I heavily looking forward to this trip because i have a passion for adventure, traveling and exploring new places but ultimately i wanted to have lots of quality time with ryan - no room for distractions or other stressors going on in our life - something I deeply needed. my initial reaction is that ryan is jumping to conclusions based off little information/evidence. i love that he is informing himself but i do not like that he is letting it interfere with our life & spirit. people could say i have my ‘head in the clouds’ but my perception is that i have a strong sense of faith and i believe in the truths that jesus tells me. it’s not that i don’t think this is extremely serious - it is! i don’t want to disregard that. but my heavenly father says “do not be anxious about anything” and speaks over me to not live in fear - so i believe this with my whole heart. i would rather die living than die in fear of living. this truth “do not be anxious about anything” has been a true stepping stone in overcoming my anxiety. so when ryan is being anxious about this trip it brings me back to a place in myself that i don’t like - anxious, fear, suspicion, & worry. i don’t want any part of that area in myself that i have learned to grow out of it (not that i don’t still struggle with it at times). my feeling is that i love him so much and if this is an emergency that everything shuts down i don’t care where i am at or what i am doing, as long as i am with him i feel safe - i am safe. i didn’t feel that ryan felt that same. he’d rather ‘play it safe’ than let his guard down. i have felt this many times with ryan that he is up tight and afraid of letting go. he’d rather do things the right way then mess up and learn something from it and grow. where as i would rather put everything out there, mess up 100 times, learn something and grow. i want more for ryan. he is very reserved, guarded and has walls up. (i’m on a mission to break down all those walls hehe) it’s not that i think that his thoughts and feelings are wrong - i completely agree that it is a risk to leave. but it’s a risk i’m willing to take in this moment of uncertainty because in my head my heavenly father tells me not to worry, even in a state of emergency, so i believe that in my spirit. i don’t want to do a thousand ‘what-if’s’ or draw my own conclusions - i want to have faith that everything will be okay. even if i’m quarantined and stuck with ryan in savannah - life is going to be okay (i actually would be completely satisfied with that lol). i would never want to put ryan or my life in danger but i don’t feel i am in danger because i feel safe with him. i also feel that my god is going to protect me. no matter what the circumstances are - he is my home, he is the safest place to go to. no matter the circumstances, even in life or death situations, if i am with him nothing else matters. to me that more than anything shows the love i have for him. i am willing to risk my life to be with him at the end of the day. we ended up going to savannah for the week and it was absolutely beautiful - it reminded me how beautiful being faithful and in trusting god is.